Feeling Contented

 Hello people of the internet.

So we are in the FMCO period, still, when will covid vanish? No one knows when.

The other week, I went for a long drive with my sister, Andak. By now you readers should know that I have 7 siblings and I'm the 7th. I have 4 sisters and 2 brothers. They are called Along, Angah, Kak Lang, Uda, Andak and Uteh. I was supposed to accompany Andak to find her bakso that she had a vivid memory of, so we tried to find the place. But we couldn't find any and were too lazy to go to Padang Jawa in Shah Alam. Since we were in the car, might as well jalan jalan. She loves to drive and she is very good with driving and all the road thingy, like she could memories all the jalan and does not need Waze. I'm amazed at her brain. And she said that that's her only ability, pfffft. What a lie, she is a good cooker and baker too. Oh, why am I praising her here? she should pay me for talking nice about her.

Along the drive, we started to talk about some random topic and one of it was "having siblings and feeling content about it". I would say that I am very blessed to have a good support system. I have loving parents, they do fight but they still love each other. I have extremely judgy siblings and at times, they can be good listeners and entertainers too! 

I still remember that there once I have thought of, I will only be serious to be in a relationship, after my brother is married. Mind you that out of 7 of us, only 2 are married, which are Along and Kaklang. The rest of us are single and never ready to mingle. Let's be real, none of us have ever been in a romantic relationship. Except for Along, she has been in a relationship with her husband since they were 18 years old and they finally married each other when they turned 27 years old. Kaklang on the other hand had a pretty short "friendly" relationship with her husband for less than a year before they decide to get married. She was 30 and her husband was 32, so I guess both of them already have a balanced life so marrying each other will not be a problem, money-wise.

I guess the main reason of the "not-ready" to be in love would be because of I already have the attention that I am craving. Whenever I feel like going out, I have siblings to choose from. Mind you that they are single, so they will always available whenever I needed them. If I ever have a breakdown, I can turn to them and ask for an opinion. I still remember that I have a crush on this guy, hah, since he already knew I used to have a crush on him, let me just name him as Long (if you ever read this, mind you, this is my way of getting over you, is by talking my heart out). I had a crush on him for the longest time, so I will update all my siblings regarding this guy. And there's this one time I had a fling on another guy, it was quite an energy too to tell them the update on my "who I'm liking now". I can literally talk to my siblings about anything. 

Angah is of those brothers that are in his "stable" age, where he has his own money, house, and car. Wait, he has no car now since I recently bought his car. And did I mentioned that he works in the government sector? He is definitely the apple of my parents' eyes. He always treats us, siblings, if we were going out. He even open "pinjaman" to us siblings. obviously, we need to pay him back the amount of borrowed money. But that is just him, stable and single. 

Angah used to warn me not to have a boyfriend until I menstruate 100 times. It sounds disgusting but thinking of it, to reach 100 times, it took more than just 8 years, he just wants me to be "old" enough to be in the romantic relationship. older, wiser, get it? He is also that go-to brother that I sometimes borrow money from, sebab nak beli barang online. You see, I have my siblings to feed my needs. I still remember back in standard 2, Angah used to iron my school uniform. And his favourite was my pinafour, sebab senang gosok. He only iron the blue-black-outside-uniform and the while collar baju dalam tu. Easy. tak perlu gosok banyak.

Moving on to Uteh, aka my second brother and the sibling above me. Recently, I just realised how he sometimes, only listens to me rather than my parents, specifically, my dad. So whenever my dad wanted to "tegur" his behavior or what not, he always asks me to talk to my brother about his concerns.I still remember back in standard four or five, I decided to start praying, simply because I wanted to tell my dad that, "abah saya dah solat" and in return, abah will puji me for doing so. #kids. I still remember my first solat was Maghrib. Not that I never solat previously. But that one solat I must do and the starting point for me to solat other waktu too. And my brother on the other hand, because I pray, he needs to pray too so that dia tak ketinggalan. idk if he secretly having a race with me or not. 

Just recently, he randomly bought a new set of bed sheets for my room. I shared with Andak btw. and he gave the bed sheets and told me that he chose my colour for the bedsheets. I was like, "I do have a colour?". Little did I know, he is really an observant brother. I just realised that I gravitate to pink. and the bed sheet that he bought was in pink colour too. Not only that, he even went to my room to help me change my current bed sheet to the new one that he bought. Random at its finest. 

He is also that brother who always prepares me whenever we go out. Last time whenever we plan to go out, he always packs my bag! Like I'm of those who doesn't like to bring any bags other than my purse in my pocket, and phone on the other and that's it, I'm ready to go out. But out of no where, he will come to me and goes, "Nat bawak bag ni, abang dah pack kan". Basically, he packs some food and drinks so that he can eat and drink, but since he's a guy, I'm the one who will carry all the items. 

Not gonna forget, Uteh is also that brother who likes to play with my hair. He will randomly come to me and ask if he can do something with my hair. I'm so gonna cry on the day of his wedding!!

Andak also plays a really important reason for the, "I'm not ready for marriage". She always drives me to whatever place I wanted to go. Ok let's be real, I'm not that "kaki jalan" person. I prefer staying at home reading novel. But whenever I felt like going to Giant, or eat something sweet, she rarely says no. She will immediately siap and ready to go. But the thing about Andak is that, she likes to 'paw' my and Uteh's, or everyone's money basically. We used to call her "tekak besar" cause she likes to eat. The thing about her is that, she doesn't like to eat food that my mom cooks. My sister likes to eat out and spend our money. And whenever she is sick, she will has that specific place to buy the food that she wants. I mean like, if you ever got sick, most probably you don't have the nafsu to eat, hence, one of the reasons we always follow whatever her tekak demand. Funny story about Andak, growing up, I never liked her. We always fight. We started to be good sisters once I've started my foundation/degree, that was when I see her as a friend and we started to have a good relationship. She will never say no whenever I called her to pick me up from college to eat out, simply because I will be the one who's gonna pay for the food! and whenever I accidentally left my items at home, she will be happily sending them to me sebab dia suka drive. But in return, I had to treat her to whatever her tekak felt like eating.

Moving on to Kak Lang, ahhh, I used to fight a lot with her. A LOT to a point that I'm glad she is married aka moved out from the house. Growing up, we rarely pull each others' hair. But as I grew older, we always fought. I would say it was because we have the same personality, just like magnet, north and north won't stick. Hence, the drama. Back in primary school, she always sends and picks my brother and I from school if we ever had any curriculum activities. Mind you that both of my parents are working. And I basically have to transportation to go to these activities. Kaklang will be the one who walks with us to school and wait until our activities end, then we will walk together to go home. Thinking of this, really makes me appreciate my siblings even more. I still remember that whenever she comes back from college back then, she always brings back new pirate games in her laptop. I would spend hours playing them! My favourite games that I still remember up till today are Crazy Taxi and Sims. There was a lot more but I don't remember.

Next up, Uda. I would say that I'm the mean sister. I'm always easily getting mad at her. I know it is not good but that's the truth. She likes to drink Nescafe. Like she must drink Nescafe every single day! She always buys everyone something whenever she goes out. Like she will randomly buy me Cheesels (idk how to spell), or air kotak milo, or whatever that she can find. I guess one of the reasons I used to not like my sister is that we shared the same birth month. I was born on 13th September while she was born on 15th. So we always had to celebrate our birthdays together, but I don't like that.

Lastly, Along. Growing up, I'm pretty sure she hates the 6 of us. I still remember my first time watching movies in the cinema, I went there with all my siblings except her. Angah and Kaklang brought us to Mid Valley and watch Cicak Man. Ahhh, good memories. Along always get mad on us sebab rumah bersepah. Mainly because she is the oldest, hence, emo much. But we started to grow a good bond once she got Aufa, my first niece. Since that, we started to have a good relationship. 

The fact that I have my siblings and their dramas, it is one of the reasons I always feel content with what I have now. I guess, whoever guy I ended up marrying, our marriage will insya-Allah, not be built out of the boredness of my life. I remember my friend told me something like, "kesiannya dia takde boyfriend, mesti dia feeling lonely". It really hits me because first, I too, don't have a boyfriend. But I never felt lonely to the point I need someone to make me happy. Yes, it is kinda sad to not have a boyfriend but even if you have a boyfriend, you can also feel lonely too if the man sucks. So don't find boyfriend in hopes to find happiness. Happiness should be built by you. By acknowledging things around you and try to make the best out of it.

I know not everyone is blessed to have siblings, obviously I can't speak for you. But, always try to build your own happiness rather than relying on others. That's the main point I wanted to talk about. As you read through this post, I might, likewise, rely on my siblings for my happiness too, hahah wtv just read my post. I'm no expertise in this topic guys. I'm a lonely-single-never-have-I-ever-had-a-boyfriend so why listen to me?

Ok this post is pointless, if you are still reading this, thank you. I'm writing this live from my rumah sewa.

Til next post, peace out!